A Whole New Ball Game

Have you ever had to have faith for anything? I mean, anything. I have, but let me tell you this. I am, as we speak, entering a whole new level of faith. Oh, it isn't by choice. It is by pure, unadulterated necessity.

I hesitate to even write this post because I am even now in the very midst of this situation. I feel wholly unqualified to even speak about it, but I find myself unable to escape the urging of my Father to step out of this boat.

I currently reside in a position unlike any other I have ever experienced. I sit here wondering not only how I am going to pay my house note but also how I am going to buy milk for my 4 year-old. For weeks we have been praying for a job or an answer to this lack in our lives. Then, two weeks ago God told us to stop praying about this.

Do you know how difficult that is . . . to have a need in your life so great that you cannot see beyond it and to have God tell you, "you know what, just stop praying about this." The reserves have depleted and all that remains in our possession is debt, bills and faith.

In God's defense (not that He needs me to defend Him), He told both my husband and me repeatedly that we need not worry because He will take care of us. We continued to pray, all the while hoping for more information until He finally put up the stop sign.

When Papa issued the order to cease and desist, He also gave me a picture of the response He desires. He brought to mind my daughter. As I said, she is four years old and particularly bright even if I do hold a certain bias toward her.

God reminded me that never does my daughter ask when I will pay the electric bill or how the groceries will be bought. She trusts that these things will be handled as they always have been, so she does not concern herself with the details.

Like my daughter, my response needs to reflect my trust in the One who handles my affairs. It is not my place to determine the hows and whys but merely to show obedience in whatever He asks of me. I fail gloriously at this almost daily, but I continue to offer up my best efforts and trust that His grace makes up for my lack.

So, I forge ahead keeping always before me scriptures like Philippians 4:18-19, Matthew 6:33, and Psalm 37:4-5. I purpose to put aside these concerns and reach for the purpose He has for me each day. My questions evolve from "How am I going to pay this bill?" to "How can I bless someone else today?" I reach forward to the soon-coming day when the testimony of His faithfulness casts aside this lack and shines brightly to encourage others who stand where I now stand.

Blessings!