Soul Scrubbing

I'm not sure why I picked that title. It seemed the best way to describe my worship experience last Sunday. It left me feeling refreshed and clean but a little raw.

My friend, Jennifer, led worship Sunday morning, and I always love it when she does. She's got an amazing voice and an ability to usher you into the very presence of God. Not everyone can do that.

There are people who are terrific musicians and have fabulous voices, but that is where it stops. It is a completely different gift that allows you to be sensitive enough to your congregation to lead multiple generations holding varied tastes into the throne room together. Jennifer is blessed to have that gift. Maybe, the more apt statement would be that we are blessed that Jennifer has that gift.

In any case, she sang this song called "Come To Me" as an offertory before we entered worship. Again, it was one of those "I needed to hear that" songs. It seemed that I wasn't the only one who needed to hear it either. The congregation was eager to meet with Papa.

I know it shouldn't, but sometimes it still amazes me how my Father can reach down and just reinvigorate me when I'm at my lowest. Somehow it reminds me of the sticks that are passing for plants in my backyard right now. They are dormant, but as soon as the first breath of spring blows through, they will begin to revive. I felt His breath blow through my life on Sunday. It spoke to my dormant heart and began to revive it.

Things may not be easy for a long time. My husband is still looking for a job. He has been substitute teaching during the day. Now he is looking at trying to get a low-paying part-time job in the evenings/weekends to supplement that. We are simply trying to stay afloat at this point. We are doing the very best that we know how to do. You know what? It's not enough. Our best will never be enough on its own, but Papa comes alongside us to buoy our spirits and make up the difference.

I'm not sure that last statement is even true. He doesn't make up the difference. Somehow He takes our best and improves it, no, transforms it until it is unrecognizable because it is infinitely better than our hands alone could accomplish.

So, Sunday, I feel like I got a good soul scrubbing, which was something I desperately needed. He washed off the self-pity and despair. I walked away smelling a little more like the rose and a little less like the fertilizer, if you know what I mean.

The scripture that has been running rampant through my mind is Isaiah 40:28-31. And I want you to be encouraged by its words as they remind us:

²⁸Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. ²⁹He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. ³⁰Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; ³¹but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strngth; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

I pray that you will share in the renewed strength of our wonderful Father as you face whatever challenges may arise in your journey. And, I pray that you will have His joy to accompany you.

Blessings!

You're Not Alone

Do you ever turn on the radio and unwittingly hear a song that you just really needed? That happened to me the other day. I was on the way home from my yearly check-up at the doctor's office. I was thinking about how I could have paid several other bills with the $300 I spent on that one office visit. Then it happened.

I just turned on the radio to drown out my thoughts. It was really a bit of a treat to be able to do so because my 3 year old daughter tends to monopolize radio time with her CDs. When I tuned in KSBJ, the next song that came on was "Where Your Heart Belongs" by a group called Mainstay.

This really falls into the "I knew that but really needed to hear it" category. Sometimes we just need to be reminded about certain aspects of our Father's love. So, I thought I'd share it with you today. The slide show on this YouTube posting is less than stellar, but it is the original recording of the song, I believe.



I hope you are as encouraged by it as I was. I think that there are times when we all feel a little alone. But, we never really are alone. I needed that reminder the other day. I had let circumstances discourage me. Thankfully, Papa has promised that He will never leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8) regardless of what our feelings or circumstances may indicate. Take heart, you are not alone.

Blessings!

When Mediocre Isn't Good Enough

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, very little writing, but a lot of thinking. What have I been thinking about? Well, I'm glad you've asked. I have been pondering the prevalence of mediocrity in the pursuit of Christ. In some cases, I would even say that mediocre is a generous descriptor.

My question is this: When did "just good enough" begin to pass for "great" in relationship and ministry? How did we come to the point where Facebook (love it as I do) started sufficing for real relationship? Don't get me wrong. I've already checked my FB page this morning, and it's a terrific way to keep in touch with people. I love seeing how people have changed and grown since high school and college. But, really, does sending a little message on Facebook, Twitter, or MySpace accomplish the same thing as a phone call or grabbing a cup of coffee with a friend?

I'm just saying that if my husband and I only ever texted or e-mailed each other or only saw each other on Facebook, we would have a sad relationship if we had any relationship at all. It takes a little more effort than that. Mediocre should not suffice.

The same goes for ministry. I play guitar in our church's worship band. Last Sunday I left service in shame and disgrace at how our Sunday morning worship went. We had a huge train wreck right there on stage for all to see. It hurt my pride, yes, but more than that it disrupted the congregation's ability to enter in to worship. You could feel the congregation inwardly cringe as we struggled to get it together. And, perhaps it is just my view alone, but it seems that we have begun to settle for "good enough" more often than we push for excellence.

I am unashamedly an overachiever. I don't say that to pat myself on the back or in a spirit of braggadocio. I say it in an effort to qualify my remarks and say that despite my propensity for being a perfectionist, that is not what I am advocating here. Simply put, if we don't put the effort in to become proficient with a particular song or to maintain and grow a relationship, the chances of gross failure on an enormous scale loom imminent.

Look, I'm not saying that all of our "train wrecks" in life can be avoided, but doesn't our Father deserve more than our leftovers in life? Shouldn't we be giving Him our very best? It takes work. It isn't always easy, but I have never found it unrewarding.

In my experience, when I get lazy in my relationship with my husband, that's when we drift. We have more nitpicking arguments, and we simply exist. We don't grow together, and we don't move forward. In fact, ofttimes we slip backwards. However, when I make the extra effort to see his side of things, make a special dinner for him, or just tell him how much I love and appreciate him, it makes a world of difference in the climate of our home.

In relationship, in ministry, really, in anything we do, the return we get is in direct proportion to the effort we put forth. Garbage in, garbage out, as the saying goes. If we want to be listed with Daniel (Daniel 5:12, Daniel 6:3), as one with an excellent spirit, it will take a little more than a mediocre effort.

So, Papa has challenged me to give more of myself to Him. I have been lazy in my relationship with Him of late. In my observation of mediocrity elsewhere, He has challenged me to dispense with the pedestrian manner in which I have pursued Him. I find that I have fallen into repetitious prayers and a lackadaisical relationship. I have a tendency to do that when I feel control slipping from my grasp as with our financial struggles.

In any case, I have been reminded once again that He gave up everything for me, and I have no right to withhold my best from Him. I've decided to break free from the insanity. You do know the definition of insanity, don't you? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. OK, so that isn't actually the definition of insanity, but it is true in this case.

I hope that if you too find yourself in the land of the mediocre when it comes to your relationships or ministry, you will join me in aspiring to an excellent spirit.

Blessings!

It's Only Money . . .Right?

I'm just going to be real with you today. I'm always real, but sometimes we avoid being real when things get us down. Instead we paste a smile on and pretend to feel okay so no one else has to feel uncomfortable in our presence. Well, I'm no good at that. So, like I said I'm just going to be real.

My husband has been out of work for nearly 5 months now. He is substitute teaching when he can get an assignment, but those don't come every day. We've been without insurance for all that time. Fortunately, we are all healthy so it hasn't really presented a major problem until now.

I called to schedule my daughter's 3 year check-up and my annual visit. I deigned to ask what the cost would be for the privilege of seeing these physicians. Turns out, going to the doctor could really cost you an arm and a leg. I guess if you're going to lose an arm or leg, the doctor's office is the best place to be.

Seriously, my daughter's check-up is going to run us $140. They'll weigh and measure her. The doctor will come in for maybe 5 minutes to listen to her heart and lungs. They'll pronounce her perfectly healthy and take my grocery money for the next two weeks.

That isn't even the worst part. My doctor is going to cost twice that amount. I guess that's because he has to spend 10 minutes in the room with me as opposed to the 5 minutes Avari's doctor takes. Oh, and that doesn't include the blood work. That will most likely be another $200 or so. All in all, I'll be spending over $600 on doctor's visits, and we aren't even sick!!!

So, where does that leave me? Trusting God in a huge way. You see, we've already drawn out my retirement fund. We have some money left in our IRAs, but there's nowhere near enough. My husband is doing his best to find a job, but he's having no luck. I'll be honest with you, I'm freaking out here!

I know my Father supplies my needs, but that provision isn't evident in my life right now. Does that mean he isn't supplying? No. It means I can't see it with my eyes. I guess that's what you call faith, right? However, it isn't easy when you have to tell your kid no every time she asks you for something. Frankly, I'm sick of hearing myself say, "maybe when Daddy gets a permanent job" or "Mama's sorry, but we just don't have the money for that right now." And these aren't big requests, they are really small things. It's hard.

Please don't misunderstand me. We are extremely blessed. There are so many others out there who are worse off than we are. But, I have to say that I have come to the conclusion that the only people who say "It's only money" are the ones who have it.

So, I wait. I wait for Dan to get a job. I wait for Papa's provision. And I pray. I pray for His strength. I pray for His peace. And I pray for His grace to see us through as I know He will.

Blessings!

The First Carnival of 2009

Today I am honored to host Christian Carnival CCLVIII, the inaugural edition of 2009. Let me say that I have been in a contemplative state of mind regarding goals for this new year and this carnival offers some wonderful food for thought. I think I'll dub this the guilt-free, indulgent edition! So, pull up a chair, grab your fork and spoon and prepare to enjoy a feast without all the pesky fat and calories!

Minister Mamie L. Pack ponders the purposes of A Simple Box over at The Life I Now Live. She reminds us that we're so much more than what we may appear to be.

I loved what ChristianPF had to say in 6 reasons to give more in the new year posted at Christian Personal Finance Blog. It's a terrific reminder that even in today's economy there are plenty of reasons to be a giver.

FMF presents Free Money Finance: The Bible on Today's Economic Woes posted at Free Money Finance.

Travis at Your Everyday Christian reminded me that being "in the world" and not "of the world" means continually reaching out to those around me in Jail Time with God and My Cousin.

Vickie Sloderbeck discusses how and why you might want to Establish a Weekly Date Night posted at Joyful Journey Productions.

Over at Heart, Mind, Soul and Strength Weekend Fisher challenges whether "historical grammatical" is really the best way to appreciate the Bible in Handel: Scripture is a symphony.

Richard H. Anderson gives us Outside the camp at dokeo kago grapho soi kratistos Theophilos.

Courtesy of Sidetracked Moms by Vickie Sloderbeck we have Some Ways to Help Eliminate Fighting. I may only have one child now, but I'm definitely tucking these ideas away for later use!

Rich shares his wonderful testimony of Papa's provision in Witness at his blog, Blogger For Christ . com.

Bible SEO walks us through a terrific study on Prepare the Way - Ministry of John the Baptist - Matthew 3:1-12 posted at Bible Study Exposition Online.

Raffi Shahinian educates us a little with Emergent/Missional/Post-Evangelical Definitions for the Layperson posted at parables of a prodigal world. I have to say that my favorite is #3!

Novelette gives us a tremendous example of A life of Service, the story of Father Damien of Molokai posted at Daily Gratia.com.

Vickie Sloderbeck and Faith Janes look at Frivilous Toys for the Sidetracked Mom posted at Sidetracked Moms.

This week at Light Along the Journey, John looks at the faith of the first woman mentioned in the Hebrews hall of faith and how her example applies to every wife (and every believer) in his post The Faith of a Wife: The Three-Fold Example of Sarah. Let me just say that this post is a home run!

Annette at Fish and Cans discusses what happened Today in Church.

As a worshiper and musician I was so excited to read Chris's thoughts in A Cheer For Music In Worship at his blog, Sing Louder Musings.

Jeremy Pierce takes a look at some arguments by Michael Craven on same sex marriage in his post, Michael Craven on Homosexuality and Same-Sex Marriage posted at Parableman.

And last, but I hope not least, (although reading this week's submissions it may be the least) is my post Pray for Me here at Fathom Deep: Sounding the Depths of God.

Well, that wraps up the 258th edition of the Christian Carnival. Man, it's like Christmas dinner all over again. I just finished and I'm already hungry for more. So, don't forget to submit your posts for the 259th edition next week. I can hardly wait!

Pray for Me

I know it's been a while since I've posted. I had complete and total holiday overload. You see, in addition to Christmas and New Year we celebrated my daughter's 3rd birthday last month. It made for a busy time, but it was all more than worth it. In honor of Avari's birthday, I thought I'd start my first post of the new year with a story that just took place today.

Avari is vivacious. She is full of life and is passionate about everything. Sometimes I would like to deny all culpability, but I'm pretty sure that she got that from me (at least according to everything my dad tells me). All her activity makes for a busy day for me, and I love every minute of it. However, there is a time of day that is held sacred in the Partin household. I like to refer to it as "The Hour of Sanity." It is probably more commonly known as nap time.

This afternoon I put Avari down for her nap, and I proceeded to fold the Mount Everest of laundry atop my bed. I gave her a little while to settle down but continued to hear her in her room as we have yet to dispense with the baby monitor (hey, it comes in handy!). The noises emanating from her room sounded vaguely like those that indicate she is jumping on her bed, so I, fearing a broken bed and having no funds to replace it, went to stop the insanity.

As I rounded the corner into her room, she sat on her knees in the corner of her bed with her head down. I'm pretty certain that's how she landed after the last jump prior to my entry. However, I quickly issued orders for her to lay down and go to sleep. She folded her hands meekly and said, "But, I'm praying for you, Mama." I calmly informed her that she can pray just as easily laying down as kneeling and asked her to do so.

I know, cute, huh? It's also the most devious thing she's done to date. Well, it probably is tied with her shoving her empty fruit bowl off the table this afternoon and claiming it fell off by itself. If she was praying for me, I'm a super model standing tall at 5'11" and weighing 110 lbs. Let me guarantee you that I stand no taller than 5'1", and that's on a good day. We won't even discuss weight this soon after the holidays. In any case, her comment got me thinking.

It really brought up one of those pet peeves we are all so fond of. Well, one of my pet peeves is for someone to express the need for prayer and the respondent says, "I'll be praying about that." I sometimes ponder about the ratio of promised prayer to actual prayer. It's so easy to say you are going to pray about something and not actually pray. Now, we all have good intentions, I'm sure. I've been guilty of pledging to pray only to have it slip my mind.

I've found that there is a very simple solution to this problem though. No, it is not to tie a string around your finger to remind you. Wrong again if you guessed the answer to be leaving a note for yourself. The best way I've found to circumvent my penchant for lack of follow through on prayer is to stop right then and there when the request is made and pray. You don't have to make a big show of it. There's no need for the use of a televangelist voice or any kind of hoopla. Simply offer to pray with them on the spot.

Not only does it let your friend, acquaintance, family member know that you are sincere in your desire to pray, it also means that you won't forget to pray. In my experience, praying immediately also reminds me to pray later.

I know there will always be those times when we cannot stop immediately and pray; however, more often than not, we can. In my own life I know that a prayer now means so much more than 10 promised prayers down the road. It eases my mind and brings me peace to know that my need or concern has been lifted up to Papa by someone who knows and cares enough to take a couple of minutes to pray with me and for me.

So, if you take nothing else away from this I hope it at least reminds you how important our prayers are. Now, I suppose I need to go refold the laundry. Cinderella (a.k.a. Avari), uses her socks for "long, long gloves," which are, of course, the staple of every princess's ensemble. For me it mostly translates to the fact that I have to fold many, many socks each day.

Blessings!