I Hear Those Sleigh Bells Jingling

Yes, I know that it's only October, but it's almost November. I'm just really getting into the Thanksgiving and Christmas spirit lately. I'm not sure what it is. . . Maybe it's the fact that we read about the birth of Christ during our family Bible time the other night. Maybe it's because I've been preparing for my daughter's 3rd birthday, which is just 5 days before Christmas. Maybe it's the amazing cooler weather that has kissed Southeast Texas the past couple of weeks. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that our local Christian radio station sent out their Christmas music survey this week. Whatever it is, I'm loving it.

I love the fall. When our first hint of cooler weather visited a couple of weeks ago, I opened all the windows and let it course through the house. I walked around all day saying, "I love fall!!" I think my husband was ready to kill me by day's end.

There's something about being cuddled up under the covers at night with the cool air blowing through the window that just makes me happy. I wake up in anticipation of the day ready to grab a cup of hot tea, hot cocoa or coffee. We are not privy to the wonder of all the leaves changing colors like some areas of the country. Our fall is probably somewhat less spectacular than some experience. Nevertheless, I love it. Don't ask me to explain it to you. It's just the beginning of my favorite part of the year.

I suppose if I had to analyze it, I would say that during the fall I become infused with a sense of anticipation and expectation. It reminds me of a purer time of life when faith was less struggle and more natural. Surely you remember that too - when you were a child and no matter how much you knew that your parents probably couldn't afford whatever amazing thing you wanted, you still had this glimmer of hope that you would awake to something magnificent on Christmas morning.

This season reminds me that I have the privilege of experiencing that expectation every morning. I can awake to each new day in eager anticipation of what Papa will speak to me, show me, or gift to me. If I so choose, I can approach life with a sense of wonder and hope. The key being those four little words - If I So Choose.

I could be bogged down in the fact that we are on a waiting list with 700 other people to get an estimate on the repairs our house needs while I can hear the roofers down the street repairing our neighbors' homes. I could wallow in the state of our insurance settlement because our adjuster only allotted $1,500 to repair our roof, when it will probably cost closer to $7,000. Now we have to go to battle, which we cannot do until we get an estimate for the repairs. But, you know, it just isn't worth it to worry.

Don't get me wrong; I slip into that pool of despair occasionally. However, I try not to live there. If I did, I would drown in self-pity, self-loathing and general self-disgust.

Instead, I will enjoy the crisp fall day that reminds me so keenly that this is the time of year when I celebrate the birth that changed my life - the birth of my Savior. I rejoice in the promise of a brighter day. I revel in the joy of knowing that Papa cares for me, His daughter. His love is fiercer than my love for my own child, so I am safe and can rest soundly.

Paul exhorts the Philippians with these words in Philippians 4:4-7, and I echo them to myself and to you, my reader:

⁴Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. ⁵Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; ⁶do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Blessings!

Going Backwards to Move Forward

I have to tell you that since our trip last week I've been doing a lot of pondering on what comes next for us. I've been asked that question a lot by our friends and family - What's next? It is a valid question, but when you don't have a clue as to the answer it can also be a painful one.

I've felt a bit like the tree in this picture - stripped bare. I do not mean that as a negative. Rather, it has caused me to stop and back up just a bit to take stock of things.

Sometimes in life, the only way to move forward is to go backwards first - a bit like a course correction. We had lunch with some good friends the other day, and they shared a similar experience of a time when they misheard God's voice. Their advice was to back up to the last time we were sure about where we were with God and go from there.

Knowing good counsel when we heard it, that is exactly what we have been doing. And you know, Papa has been speaking. It's funny. He's telling us the same thing He spoke to me when we were in Louisiana - live where I have placed you. That seems simple enough, but oftentimes, we are looking for the next thing. That's what we were doing. Our intentions were pure, but we still weren't walking where He placed us.

I certainly am not claiming to have all the answers for myself or anyone else at this point. I do know that we are doing our best to hear Him and follow His voice.

Something else that I realized is that there was no chastisement after all this. Oh, I chastised myself. I'm really good at that. But, my Father never spoke a harsh word to me. There has only been grace and love from Him. I suppose it goes to show how different my character is from His. Hopefully, I am growing closer with each victory and every misstep.

The key is perseverance, I suppose. What does Philippians 3:8-14 tell us? Paul says, and I echo his words:

⁸Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ ⁹and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith - ¹⁰that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death ¹¹that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. ¹²Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. ¹³Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, ¹⁴I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

And so, like Paul, I will forget what lies behind because I could live in regret and wonder - pondering my mistakes. That would only serve to weaken my relationship with Papa. It would be as if I was saying that He is too small to take me from this place of disappointment and bring me back to a place of joy.

I refuse to concede! My Father's strength moves mountains, and He will uphold me by the strength of His right hand. I love 2 Corinthians 12:9 in the New King James Version. It says:

And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

So Right, You're Wrong

Have you ever been so sure about something that you would have bet on it at the track? It was just one of those things where all you had to do was cross the T's and dot the I's. The details were mere formalities, and you were just going to sail on into the next chapter of life. Then it all came undone. That's what happened to me.

Well, I should mention that I've been struggling a little with some doubts recently. I suppose that should have been my first clue. However, I chalked them up to nervousness about a new adventure and kept on plugging away. Then we went to St. Bernard Parish last week.

We no more got into town and met the pastor, who is a terrific person, by the way, and I knew it just wasn't right. He and his family had us to dinner. He showed us around the area, which was amazing. The most touching thing we saw was the memorial to those who died in St. Bernard Parish during Katrina.

This is a photo of that memorial. The building in the distance is an old fort that was being built prior to the Battle of New Orleans. It was never finished. It was a beautiful intersection of the area's struggles from the past and trials of the present.

Even in the midst of feeling incredible empathy for the residents of that area and all they are going through to rebuild (and there is still much to be done), I also knew that our intended move was not to be. In some ways I was a little relieved, but in others, I was sorely disappointed.

As we left to come home, Dan and I were confused, frustrated, disappointed. The adjectives could go on and on. It is hard to know that first you will have to try to explain to friends and loved ones what changed in the course of 24 hours. Did God change His mind, did we miss Him, what happened?

I learned a valuable lesson from all this though. If nothing else, I am learning to walk in humility. My pride would have said that you follow through rather than lose face and admit defeat. My determined nature would have had me move because we had something to offer even if it wasn't right. However, I think that being able to admit when you are wrong is more important than always being right. That, for the simple reason that no one is always right.

So, we are continuing to pray about what God has for us. In the spirit of honesty, I am still baffled by all of this. I struggle because I feel in some ways that I am running fast and getting nowhere. I expect though that when Papa's will is made plain that all of this will be just another step in the journey taking us there.

And so I lean again on one of my favorite sections of scripture, Proverbs 3:5-6. I will trust, and I will try to look beyond my understanding to take hold of His will for me and my family.

Still Learning

It's been a bit of a rough week. I feel as if someone mistakenly enrolled me in the "How To Get Closer To God in One Short Week" class. Apparently, the syllabus for this class requires you to undergo intense experiences which offer no other alternative than collapsing at the feet of the Father in desperation.

OK, maybe that's just real life, and I'm experiencing it in spades this week. Of course, I've already told you about our experience with the adjuster, and we haven't heard back from him yet. I don't really expect to until next week sometime. So, I'm at peace with that one.

Then I had a pretty intense falling out with a friend. I was really hurt by an accusation that was made and worried myself sick over it for two days. God really confronted me with all I've learned about forgiveness in the past. Papa always uses these opportunities to remind me of the ways in which I have committed the same offense in our relationship and how He has forgiven me. I can never hold on to my hurt and anger after that. My friend and I have reconciled, for which I think both of us are relieved and glad.

I'm still dealing with the third scenario - no money. I keep praying that my Father will go ahead and show us some sunlight in that darkened corner, but He hasn't cracked the blinds yet. I'm still on my knees for that one.

Overall, it's been a difficult week, but it's also been wonderful. Perhaps I should categorize it as wonderfully difficult? You know, sometimes we need those tough experiences to refocus our attention right where it needs to be - on God. I tend to get into "handle things" mode, and I sometimes forget to factor God into the equation properly.

Remember math - way back in school when you were doing Algebra? Do remember the phrase Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally? You used it when you had to work out those complex equations, and it stands for Parentheses, Exponents, Multiply, Divide, Add, and Subtract. You know, if you didn't follow the order of operations, the answer came out completely wrong. It was so frustrating to work for ages, and still have the answer be utterly incorrect.

It kind of works that way with God. If we don't do things in the right order - talk to God, then follow His instructions, everything comes out wrong and life gets absolutely frustrating. Really, I don't know why I cannot seem to get that order of operation correct - there are only 2 steps, after all.

So, as I step out of this week and start planning for next, I am looking forward to my first trip to St. Bernard Parish. We are going to be there for a couple of days next week to meet with the pastor, let me have a look around town, and just try to get more direction. On this one, we definitely had the order of operation correct. Father told us explicitly that a visit to the area is our next step.

Well, that was my week in a nutshell. And what is the moral of this convoluted story? I suppose that if I had to nail it to a wall, it would be this: stay sensitive to Papa's voice in every aspect of your life regardless of how inconsequential it may seem at the time. You never know when a word from Him will change your approach to a situation and completely save the outcome.

Blessings!

Am I Really In Good Hands?

If you're old enough, you remember the slogan "You're in good hands with Allstate." That was before the ex-president from 24 became their spokesman and talked about how people are more important and that's why they give out teddy bears to little children affected by catastrophe. It's a nice thought - an insurance company that cares. I hope that just because their slogan has changed doesn't mean that I'm not in good hands anymore.

Our adjuster (from Allstate) paid us a visit today. We took him through the house and showed him all the water spots, bowed ceiling, blown away fence, etc. He came back in the house and started explaining a few things. He said he was submitting our roof as a repair instead of replacement because there were areas where just a few shingles were missing. I asked him a question about why he would recommend repair instead of replacement because (as a roofer friend and others with knowledge had told me previously) when your roof has been through a storm like Ike, you may have more damage than just missing shingles. Often times the seals (the sticky part on the back of the shingle) is broken, which means it can rain into your house even though it may look like the shingles are fine.

He first disputed that there was a seal on the shingle. Then he basically asserted that I was angling to get more money than was owed me. He said that "Allstate and any other insurance company out there is more than happy and wants to repair your home to its former state, but they're not going to build you a new house."

Now, if you've seen my house, you know that it is nothing fancy, but I have no cause to want more than I have. That's pretty much what I told him. My response was, "We are not dishonest people. I'm not asking you for more money than I should receive. I don't want a new house; I liked my house just fine before the storm came and damaged it. I simply want to be sure that it is repaired properly and we are awarded enough money to do so."

He seemed taken aback that I didn't wilt like a shrinking violet. He quickly backtracked and stated that he'd had an angry client before he arrived at our home, which had put him in a cranky mood. I totally get that it can be frustrating to deal with people. I've been there, but in my experience it helps not to alienate the client who is asking a civilized question. Otherwise, your difficult clients will start outnumbering your happy ones.

I'm hoping and praying that everything works out in the end. Mostly, I hope that my calm and direct response was enough to show him that we have no dishonest designs in our dealings with him or Allstate. We've been loyal customers for years. We were treated fairly after Rita. I'm praying that I can say the same after Ike.

I do know this: I am still in good hands. I am in my Father's hands. He will see that all my needs are met. My Papa owns the cattle on a thousand hills, so taking care of my meager, paltry needs will be no sweat. That's what I know.

So, "Are you in good hands?"

Changing The Landscape

There are things that happen in life that change us. We may choose to have those things happen - college, marriage, kids, job, or we may not choose them - death, tragedy, kids, job. I guess what I want to say is that there are times in life where we come to a place where it is appropriate to build a memorial.

The Bible tells us of a time in the lives of the children of Israel when they did just that: built a memorial. Let's look at Joshua 4:1-7

¹When all the nation had finished passing over the Jordan, the Lord said to Joshua, ²"Take twelve men from the people, from each tribe a man, ³and command them, saying, 'Take twelve stones from here out of the midst of the Jordan, from the very place where the priests' feet stood firmly, and bring them over with you and lay them down in the place where you lodge tonight.'" ⁴Then Joshua called the twelve men from the people of Israel, whom he had appointed, a man from each tribe. ⁵And Joshua said to them, "Pass on before the ark of the Lord your God into the midst of the Jordan, and take up each of you a stone upon his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the people of Israel, ⁶that this may be a sign among you. When your children ask in time to come, 'What do those stones mean to you?' ⁷then you shall tell them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off. So these stones shall be to the people of Israel a memorial forever."

So, what do I mean with all this memorial talk? Am I telling you that you need to take up sculpting? No, for I would be a poor sculptor I am sure. I suppose the things that are taking place in my life right now - hurricane Ike, the move, not knowing how I will pay my bills - are causing me to realize that I depend on those old memorials in my life.

That is not to say that I don't talk to Papa now. I just mean that when we live our lives it is important to remember how Father has been faithful in the past. It keeps us steady when we get cold feet. It serves as a reminder of His strength in our lives. After all, we humans can have really short memories in times of panic or stress.

Take Israel as an example. Moses leads them out of Egypt. They cross the Red Sea on dry ground. God takes out the whole Egyptian army in one fell swoop. And a few short days later the Israelites are building a golden calf with the help of Moses' mouthpiece and brother, Aaron, so it can be their God.

We should set up memorials to remind us of our present when it becomes our past and we are afraid for the future. Translation: if we do not mark the events of today while they are fresh in our memories, we may not have those memorials to refer to when we need them.

My point is this: we need to remind ourselves sometimes that God has everything under control. It may not always turn out the way we think it ought to, but He didn't leave things on cruise control and go to the fridge for a soda while we're freaking out. He is ever mindful of what we are living through. Occasionally, our memories just need to be jogged, so we can stay focused on Him.

Things happen. Life happens. In many cases there are days that will come and go and will be less than a blip on the radar screens of our lives. However, there are moments in our lives that change everything. They rewrite the landscapes of our lives. They are epiphanic moments that need to be landmarked in this journey. Jacob had one when he wrestled with the angel and his name was changed to Israel (see Genesis 32:22-32).

Just as hurricane Ike has forever changed the coastline of southeast Texas, so too do circumstances in our lives forever alter who we are. Mark those times in your heart. You may not recognize His faithfulness completely in the midst of it, but it will be easier to see in hindsight. You needn't use large rocks as the Israelites did. There's no need to start chipping away at a great block of stone to carve a memorial. But write it down or purpose in your heart to remember.

Let us not forget who Papa is in our lives. Let us be quick to recall His loving kindness. Let us be ever thinking on His faithfulness to us.

The Proof Is In The Pictures

Well, I promised in my last post that I would get around to sharing some of my photos of Baytown post-Ike. Let me preface the picture portion of the post with this: these are not award-winning photos. I took most of these from the car, and my photographic abilities in a moving vehicle are not stellar (to say the least). With that being said, I did do my best to tinker in PhotoShop to get the best version of each photo. Unfortunately, uploading these to blogger drains the color out of them and makes them look flat.

I have probably chosen too many to include, but I had a hard time leaving some of these out. I hope you will enjoy (is enjoy the right word? maybe appreciate is more apt). I sincerely hope you will be able to appreciate the damage that these photos represent not only to the structures pictured but to the people's lives they represent. Oh, and one note of suggestion - I recommend that if you really want to "see" these photos, you click on each one. Otherwise, you'll be squinting at the screen trying to make out what you're looking at.

This is a photo of our neighbor's willow tree being whipped around as the high winds began to blow. This was only the tip of the iceberg, of course. The tree was ultimately snapped in half when the 100+ mph winds hit.

This is a church that we pass just about any time we leave the house to go somewhere. As you can see the wall was torn down exposing the interior to what I'm sure was severe damage.
Here you can see Cedar Bayou, which had already receded a little but was still severely over its banks. Very little of what is pictured here would normally be under water - notice all of the half submerged trees.

Perhaps I have an odd sense of humor, but I found the location of this fallen tree a bit comical since the sign was posted long before Ike struck.

I would say you could classify this one as a close call for the trailer behind that huge tree.

I couldn't tell you exactly where this tree was because at this point I was too turned around to know. This was one of many trees we saw laying across power lines. We had to turn around at least 3 or 4 times in order to avoid running over the ones that crossed the road.

These were the power lines down along Garth Road the day after Ike. This was just a small taste of all the lines that fell, I'm sure.

This mobile home looked better than others we saw. In fact, we saw one where nothing was left but the bottom portion of the frame.

I thought this picture was almost poetic. The little yellow flowers survived, but the enormous pole was laid over by the powerful winds.

I'm not sure what this building was going to be. I would not want to be the one to try to sort it out though.

These were the first trucks we saw working on power lines and such. I cannot tell you how grateful you are when you see lines of trucks rolling in from across the country to help restore electricity. Seriously, I know they make good money to do that work, but they leave their homes and families to come help restore civilization to our homes and families. That's just classy no matter how you slice it.

We (like so many others) went to Home Depot a couple of days following Ike. After hearing that we could be 3 weeks or more without power, we were hoping to purchase a generator or at least a camp stove. This line wrapped around and doubled over itself. We waited for about 30 minutes when someone finally emerged to say that they had no generators. There was a mass exodus from the line following that announcement. Seriously, at least 2/3 of the people dejectedly walked back to their cars.

This was an auto body shop on N. Alexander.

This is a local restaurant on N. Alexander (not one I frequent), and it used to be a Kettle back in the day.

I know the sign on this one says (said) taqueria, but when I was growing up, this was Tasty Treat. I used to love this place - it was kind of like Dairy Queen, only better.

This sign used to sit just down the street from our subdivision, and yes, I had to put at least one in black and white.

At first glance (if you don't live around here) these signal lights and street signs seem untouched. However, they are turned an almost perfect 90 degrees from how they normally sit.

As you can see, this boat is sitting on dry land. It had dozens of others to keep it company. Unfortunately, I couldn't really get close enough to get a good photo of those.

My husband insisted that I include this one. I'm not sure the explanation of his affinity for this particular photo. He does like chicken, but I digress. This sign fell from great heights. We pass it every time we exit I-10 to Hwy. 146 going toward our house.

I saved the best for last (at least, in my humble opinion), so I hope you hung in there with me until the end.

This particular tree is located in a field between Ferry Rd. and Hwy. 146. Let me just say that I wish this photo in particular had uploaded better. In the original picture the sky is so blue (and a beautiful shade of blue) that it looks fake.

In my mind this last picture is a bit of a microcosm of the storm. You can see the debris washed in around the horse as well as the water and high voltage towers behind.

Well, there you have it. Those are my photos from the aftermath in Baytown. I hope these give you a little insight into our community following hurricane Ike.

Blessings!