I thought seriously about not posting today. It's been a rough couple of days in the Partin house. Yesterday morning a happy-go-lucky trip to visit my parents turned worrisome in a matter of minutes. We were 5 minutes into our casual visit when Avari broke out in hives. Now, let me begin by saying that I had no idea what the huge, red welts were that were quickly spreading all over my beautiful girl. I assumed it was some sort of allergic reaction.
Of course, as I rushed home to put her in the bathtub (I mistakenly thought we would wash off the offending allergen), I wracked my brain to think of what we had done differently than usual. I came to the earth-shattering conclusion that we had done absolutely nothing out of the ordinary. While Avari was playing, I quickly consulted my favorite website to find out what I should do next. That is when I discovered that she had hives and anything from a change in temperature to a virus could be causing them.
Since they seemed to be fading, I worried less about the hives, and we went about our day. Then lo and behold, when I picked up my husband from work a few hours later, the hives returned with brute force. In a matter of minutes her eyes were swollen and her upper lip was drooping over her bottom lip. Needless to say, my worries returned with reinforcements.
Now, yesterday was the last day of my husband's teaching career. He is going to try to get his investment business off the ground and write full-time. One of my nagging fears is that something horrible will happen and we won't have insurance. And as I watched my beautiful, little baby's face balloon, the devil started whispering all those old, familiar doubts in my ears.
After various phone calls with nurses and such, we gave Avari some Benadryl and settled in for the night. The experts did not seem concerned, so we became less so. We prayed, just as I had been doing all day. I went to bed hoping to wake to a completely normal little girl. Alas, I rose to find a splotchy, swollen, feverish girl. We quickly took her to see the pediatrician where we found out that she has strep throat. If you are anything like me, at this point you are wondering why she has hives with strep. Well, the answer is that she is allergic to the strep bacteria that is causing her fever, which has resulted in huge splotchy hives.
Now, I am sure you are asking why you need to know any of this. Really, you probably don't, but when I'm tired, I tend to ramble. Stick with me though; I'm coming to the point.
Through all of the hives, fever, etc., Avari has been a trooper. She has carried on as if her lip wasn't swollen to three times its normal size and she didn't have itchy patches all over her body. She never missed a beat.
She reacted the way I wish I would have - with complete security in the fact that we, her parents, would care for her. I, on the other hand, for a brief moment, panicked. Millions of horrible scenarios tracked through my mind. I wish I had trusted in my heavenly Father like Avari trusted in me.
I suppose I said all that to say this: I doubted, and I shouldn't have. I felt a bit ashamed as I am sure Peter did in Matthew 16:30-31. Peter had stepped out of the boat and was walking on water, "but when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, 'Lord, save me.' Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, 'O you of little faith, why did you doubt?'"
I know that I want to react differently next time. I want to have the childish attitude that Avari had. The attitude that says, "I know everything will be alright because my Abba Father will take care of everything. " It is reassuring to know that if we do feel ourselves sinking into those old, familiar doubts again, Jesus, just as he did with Peter, will reach out His hand and take hold of us to bring us safely to Him!
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Useful Information
OK, I thought since it is Friday, we would be a little more mundane than usual. I figured maybe I could share some information that I've found elsewhere that would be useful to you.
First off, there is a website that you may have heard about but perhaps haven't checked it out yet. It is called The Grocery Game. Now, if you don't like to save money then go ahead and skip down in this post. My frugal friends and I are going to chat for a minute.
I have recently discovered this wonderful site. I have friends that have been a part of it for years, and have saved so much money that it makes your jaw drop to hear about it. It does cost money to be a member, but you will save way more money than it ever costs you. You can actually sign up for a 4 week trial for $1. I won't try to explain everything about it here. They have a terrific how-to guide on their site that is a must read before starting. Basically, they track the sales and the coupons, put them together and give you a list for your chosen store(s). Then you shop based on the list and save tons of money.
I won't spend a lot of time regaling you with the tales of my recent shopping experiences. I will say that I have gotten more free food, cleaning products and toiletries than I ever thought possible. I was skeptical going in to it, but I am a full-fledged, bona-fide believer now. My one tip is to be organized. I recommend a binder with zipper pouches for the coupons you clip. That was a tip that I took from my friend, Anna. Thanks, Anna!!
Anyway, visit The Grocery Game now if you are tired of paying too much for your groceries. Oh, I lied - I'm going to give you two more tips. Clip all the coupons - even the ones for stuff you don't normally use. If you can get the stuff for free and you don't want it, you can always donate it. Also, in addition to your grocery store of choice, sign up for CVS and/or Walgreens. You can save lots with these stores. You don't believe me now, but you will thank me later.
On to my next recommendation of the day. If you read my post on patience the other day, you saw that I was having some pretty frustrating problems with some technical stuff on my blog. I have to say that my new best friend Vin at Beta Blogger for Dummies saved my life. No, really, I was about to pull my hair out, and Vin saved me from being a very unattractive bald woman. If you want to tweak your Blogger blog and need the code to do it. This is the place for you. He was even nice enough to e-mail back and forth with me until we solved my issue. Thank you, Vin!!
OK, that's about all the time I have for today kids. In the infamous words of Houston's own Marvin Zindler - "Have a good weekend. Good golf, good tennis, or whatever makes you happy!"
First off, there is a website that you may have heard about but perhaps haven't checked it out yet. It is called The Grocery Game. Now, if you don't like to save money then go ahead and skip down in this post. My frugal friends and I are going to chat for a minute.
I have recently discovered this wonderful site. I have friends that have been a part of it for years, and have saved so much money that it makes your jaw drop to hear about it. It does cost money to be a member, but you will save way more money than it ever costs you. You can actually sign up for a 4 week trial for $1. I won't try to explain everything about it here. They have a terrific how-to guide on their site that is a must read before starting. Basically, they track the sales and the coupons, put them together and give you a list for your chosen store(s). Then you shop based on the list and save tons of money.
I won't spend a lot of time regaling you with the tales of my recent shopping experiences. I will say that I have gotten more free food, cleaning products and toiletries than I ever thought possible. I was skeptical going in to it, but I am a full-fledged, bona-fide believer now. My one tip is to be organized. I recommend a binder with zipper pouches for the coupons you clip. That was a tip that I took from my friend, Anna. Thanks, Anna!!
Anyway, visit The Grocery Game now if you are tired of paying too much for your groceries. Oh, I lied - I'm going to give you two more tips. Clip all the coupons - even the ones for stuff you don't normally use. If you can get the stuff for free and you don't want it, you can always donate it. Also, in addition to your grocery store of choice, sign up for CVS and/or Walgreens. You can save lots with these stores. You don't believe me now, but you will thank me later.
On to my next recommendation of the day. If you read my post on patience the other day, you saw that I was having some pretty frustrating problems with some technical stuff on my blog. I have to say that my new best friend Vin at Beta Blogger for Dummies saved my life. No, really, I was about to pull my hair out, and Vin saved me from being a very unattractive bald woman. If you want to tweak your Blogger blog and need the code to do it. This is the place for you. He was even nice enough to e-mail back and forth with me until we solved my issue. Thank you, Vin!!
OK, that's about all the time I have for today kids. In the infamous words of Houston's own Marvin Zindler - "Have a good weekend. Good golf, good tennis, or whatever makes you happy!"
Thursday, May 29, 2008
You've Got Two Choices. . .
I've been thinking a lot about a certain subject lately. Whether you are a full-time minister, lay minister or not a minister at all, your job and other obligations require sacrifices in certain areas of your life. You have to give of your time and money, you have to put aside your preferences and desires. The one thing that should never be the victim of work or ministry is your family.
I know that there is a delicate balance between our work/ministry life and our home life. There are times when you have no choice but to stay late for an hour to finish a project that has an impending deadline. We will always have those days when something or someone is screaming for our attention. My point is, it should not have to be your spouse or children screaming for it.
Our first priority in our lives should be our relationship with God. The extension of that relationship with God should be our relationship with our family. Then, finally, flowing out of your relationship with God and your family will be your ministry. If you get these priorities out of order, you are in for a world of pain and disappointment.
Make yourself always available to your spouse and your children. In most offices today managers operate with an "open door" policy, so you can feel free to offer suggestions or share frustrations. Make sure you operate your household in the same way. Your family should always be able to come to you with any problem, concern or situation.
I Timothy 3:4-5 gives us some advice when it says, "He must manage his own family well, with children who respect and obey him. For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God's church?" Now, those are pretty strong words from our friend, the apostle Paul. Let me go again to the Tiffany Partin paraphrase where this portion of scripture says, "Look, if you can't manage to keep your own life in order, how in the world, can you expect to help anyone else get his straightened out?"
The long and short of it is this: put your family first. God respects and honors that. He looks for it; He even requires it. Do not put a church board meeting in front of your daughter's ballet recital. Schedule that counseling session on a night other than that of your son's soccer playoffs. If you have the choice to work overtime or spend time with your kids, choose the time with your kids. You can always spend money later, but you can never retrieve unspent time.
Your family should receive your best. They should be the first people to whom you minister, not the last. Raising a family is similar to how you handle money - pay now or pay more later. You've got two choices when it comes to your family . . . invest your time now and reap great rewards later or borrow against their love on credit and have to pay it back with interest in the future.
Now, go on, go give your family a hug!
I know that there is a delicate balance between our work/ministry life and our home life. There are times when you have no choice but to stay late for an hour to finish a project that has an impending deadline. We will always have those days when something or someone is screaming for our attention. My point is, it should not have to be your spouse or children screaming for it.
Our first priority in our lives should be our relationship with God. The extension of that relationship with God should be our relationship with our family. Then, finally, flowing out of your relationship with God and your family will be your ministry. If you get these priorities out of order, you are in for a world of pain and disappointment.
Make yourself always available to your spouse and your children. In most offices today managers operate with an "open door" policy, so you can feel free to offer suggestions or share frustrations. Make sure you operate your household in the same way. Your family should always be able to come to you with any problem, concern or situation.
I Timothy 3:4-5 gives us some advice when it says, "He must manage his own family well, with children who respect and obey him. For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God's church?" Now, those are pretty strong words from our friend, the apostle Paul. Let me go again to the Tiffany Partin paraphrase where this portion of scripture says, "Look, if you can't manage to keep your own life in order, how in the world, can you expect to help anyone else get his straightened out?"
The long and short of it is this: put your family first. God respects and honors that. He looks for it; He even requires it. Do not put a church board meeting in front of your daughter's ballet recital. Schedule that counseling session on a night other than that of your son's soccer playoffs. If you have the choice to work overtime or spend time with your kids, choose the time with your kids. You can always spend money later, but you can never retrieve unspent time.
Your family should receive your best. They should be the first people to whom you minister, not the last. Raising a family is similar to how you handle money - pay now or pay more later. You've got two choices when it comes to your family . . . invest your time now and reap great rewards later or borrow against their love on credit and have to pay it back with interest in the future.
Now, go on, go give your family a hug!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Have Patience
I am at my boiling point as I begin this post. I have spent the better part of an afternoon trying to finish a project. Unfortunately, I get halfway through the process and get an error message. Here's the kicker, I get a different error code every time. So I figured that instead of losing what little patience I have left, I would blog instead.
Do you ever get to the point where you have just about lost your sanity? The computer won't cooperate, your kids won't cooperate, your dog won't cooperate - you get the picture. It seems as if the whole world is conspiring to ruin your day. What do you do?
When my daughter is being impatient, I sing her the song my mom used to sing to me: "Have Patience." Most of the time, it is as much for my benefit as for hers. But, how do we go from that "I'm gonna lose it any second now" state of mind to a state of peace and tranquility? Well, I'm warning you, you may not like my answer.
We have to learn to let go of whatever is causing us to "lose it." If that means hanging up with the customer service representative who refuses to listen to your problem and keeps reading a scripted answer in broken English, then do it. If it means stopping in the middle of what you are doing to read your child another book even though you really need to finish, then do it. If it means stopping short of throwing the computer through a window and instead allowing God to use this experience in a constructive way, do it!
The Bible tells us in I Samuel 15:22 that "to obey is better than sacrifice." In the Tiffany Partin paraphrase that translates to "it is better to be obedient in the first place than to have to repent for your actions after they have harmed you and/or someone else." So, I've taken my own advice, and you know, it was extremely cathartic.
Now it's your turn. Take a deep breath, exhale, step away from the source of the frustration, and breathe in the peace of God!
Do you ever get to the point where you have just about lost your sanity? The computer won't cooperate, your kids won't cooperate, your dog won't cooperate - you get the picture. It seems as if the whole world is conspiring to ruin your day. What do you do?
When my daughter is being impatient, I sing her the song my mom used to sing to me: "Have Patience." Most of the time, it is as much for my benefit as for hers. But, how do we go from that "I'm gonna lose it any second now" state of mind to a state of peace and tranquility? Well, I'm warning you, you may not like my answer.
We have to learn to let go of whatever is causing us to "lose it." If that means hanging up with the customer service representative who refuses to listen to your problem and keeps reading a scripted answer in broken English, then do it. If it means stopping in the middle of what you are doing to read your child another book even though you really need to finish, then do it. If it means stopping short of throwing the computer through a window and instead allowing God to use this experience in a constructive way, do it!
The Bible tells us in I Samuel 15:22 that "to obey is better than sacrifice." In the Tiffany Partin paraphrase that translates to "it is better to be obedient in the first place than to have to repent for your actions after they have harmed you and/or someone else." So, I've taken my own advice, and you know, it was extremely cathartic.
Now it's your turn. Take a deep breath, exhale, step away from the source of the frustration, and breathe in the peace of God!
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Taking Up Space
I've been thinking a lot the last couple of days about how I fill the space that is alloted to me. Frankly, I need to exercise so I take up a little less space, but that is a bit off topic. No, my question is - am I just taking up space, or am I filling it with something of substance?
Maybe if I give you a little background, it will help clarify the situation. When I started out in ministry over 10 years ago, I was under the impression that it was better to burn out for Jesus than to fade out. As a result, I spent a lot of time filling positions in the church because I could. That is to say, I didn't necessarily undertake the task because it was something God told me specifically that I was to do. Instead, I took every need in the church as a call to action. I literally burned myself out.
I was convinced that if I wasn't busy all the time, I wasn't accomplishing all God wanted me to do. I led small groups, taught Sunday school, worked with the youth group, led worship, etc, etc. The end result was that I settled. I settled for being busy for God rather than being effective. I had so many balls in the air that it was impossible to give any one area my full attention. I am certain that I not only robbed myself and the people to whom I was ministering by doing this, but I also robbed others who might have taken part in areas of ministry that I was simply occupying.
Instead of trying to ascertain what exactly God wanted me to do for him I launched into one project after another and simply asked him to bless what I determined I should be doing. I settled for His acceptable will rather than His perfect will. I had a really hard time understanding the difference between the two until God allowed me to go down another wrong path that forced me to slow down and take stock of my ministry.
Romans 12:1-2 tells us to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice. It goes on to say that as our minds are renewed by living for Him, we will learn to discern His good and acceptable and perfect will. I am no theologian and have never claimed to be; however, my life experience tells me that there is a difference between God's acceptable will and His perfect will.
Isn't it interesting that the very next section of scripture, Romans 12:3-8, talks about everyone in the body having different gifts and using those gifts for God? Now, I had never really thought about it this way before, but I believe that God is telling us that just because we can do something does not necessarily mean we should. He has specific plans for our ministry beyond just filling a need.
It is hard to say no to someone when they ask you for help and you believe you can fill that need. I would caution you with this: pray first. Learn to distinguish between what God allows you to do and what He desires you to do. Sometimes it may mean saying no to a position or area of ministry to which you feel called because it simply is not the right time. Other times it may mean saying yes to something you feel is far beyond your capabilities. The key is to make those decisions based on the counsel you find in your prayer closet. Never allow someone to pressure you into an area of ministry because there is a need you can fill.
The difference between God's acceptable will and His perfect will could be the difference between success and failure in an endeavor. If He is simply allowing you to pursue something of your own choosing, you will never have the peace, joy and success that you desire. However, if you will wait on Him - actively wait on Him by praying and seeking His will, He will direct you. Then and only then will your ministry know success - joy even in difficulty, peace even in the midst of turmoil.
It may not be an easy road that He sets your feet upon, but it will be rewarding. And as you are living your life in the center of His perfect will, you will have no doubts that He has you safely in the palm of His hand!
Maybe if I give you a little background, it will help clarify the situation. When I started out in ministry over 10 years ago, I was under the impression that it was better to burn out for Jesus than to fade out. As a result, I spent a lot of time filling positions in the church because I could. That is to say, I didn't necessarily undertake the task because it was something God told me specifically that I was to do. Instead, I took every need in the church as a call to action. I literally burned myself out.
I was convinced that if I wasn't busy all the time, I wasn't accomplishing all God wanted me to do. I led small groups, taught Sunday school, worked with the youth group, led worship, etc, etc. The end result was that I settled. I settled for being busy for God rather than being effective. I had so many balls in the air that it was impossible to give any one area my full attention. I am certain that I not only robbed myself and the people to whom I was ministering by doing this, but I also robbed others who might have taken part in areas of ministry that I was simply occupying.
Instead of trying to ascertain what exactly God wanted me to do for him I launched into one project after another and simply asked him to bless what I determined I should be doing. I settled for His acceptable will rather than His perfect will. I had a really hard time understanding the difference between the two until God allowed me to go down another wrong path that forced me to slow down and take stock of my ministry.
Romans 12:1-2 tells us to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice. It goes on to say that as our minds are renewed by living for Him, we will learn to discern His good and acceptable and perfect will. I am no theologian and have never claimed to be; however, my life experience tells me that there is a difference between God's acceptable will and His perfect will.
Isn't it interesting that the very next section of scripture, Romans 12:3-8, talks about everyone in the body having different gifts and using those gifts for God? Now, I had never really thought about it this way before, but I believe that God is telling us that just because we can do something does not necessarily mean we should. He has specific plans for our ministry beyond just filling a need.
It is hard to say no to someone when they ask you for help and you believe you can fill that need. I would caution you with this: pray first. Learn to distinguish between what God allows you to do and what He desires you to do. Sometimes it may mean saying no to a position or area of ministry to which you feel called because it simply is not the right time. Other times it may mean saying yes to something you feel is far beyond your capabilities. The key is to make those decisions based on the counsel you find in your prayer closet. Never allow someone to pressure you into an area of ministry because there is a need you can fill.
The difference between God's acceptable will and His perfect will could be the difference between success and failure in an endeavor. If He is simply allowing you to pursue something of your own choosing, you will never have the peace, joy and success that you desire. However, if you will wait on Him - actively wait on Him by praying and seeking His will, He will direct you. Then and only then will your ministry know success - joy even in difficulty, peace even in the midst of turmoil.
It may not be an easy road that He sets your feet upon, but it will be rewarding. And as you are living your life in the center of His perfect will, you will have no doubts that He has you safely in the palm of His hand!
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Kids Rock
I had to share this. Anyone with young kids will appreciate this one, especially, if your little one is like mine, and wants to listen to her music NON-STOP 24/7/365 without fail!
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
What's In Your Closet
Well, it's confession time here at FathomDeep. I'm going to let you in on one of my secrets. I tend to be a perfectionist. No, that's not the secret. If you've spent ten minutes with me, you know that I'm a perfectionist. I've gotten a lot better since I became a mom, but I still like my house very clean. However, there are those times when we have company over, and there's that last load of laundry that I just don't have time to fold. What do I do with it? Here comes the secret. Well, it ends up in the closet. That's right. I just stick basket and all in the closet until the guests leave. Then I pull it out and fold it (if it isn't too late, of course).
My question is this: what is in your spiritual closet? When you spend time with God, what gets shoved into the closet that you don't want Him see? We all have areas of our lives where we need God's work. If you don't, you are either dead or lying. The trick is to allow Him to work. He will not force His change upon us.
Most of us despise change. We usually avoid it at all costs, but we should crave God's changes in us. Let me challenge you with this: next time you go to prayer, ask God what one thing He wants to work on in your life. You may be surprised at His response. So, as we start a new week, let's pull the laundry out of the closet and allow God to put it away where it belongs!
Blessings!
My question is this: what is in your spiritual closet? When you spend time with God, what gets shoved into the closet that you don't want Him see? We all have areas of our lives where we need God's work. If you don't, you are either dead or lying. The trick is to allow Him to work. He will not force His change upon us.
Most of us despise change. We usually avoid it at all costs, but we should crave God's changes in us. Let me challenge you with this: next time you go to prayer, ask God what one thing He wants to work on in your life. You may be surprised at His response. So, as we start a new week, let's pull the laundry out of the closet and allow God to put it away where it belongs!
Blessings!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Mutual Admiration Society
I've been on both sides of the table for this one, so I thought I'd bring a little perspective to the pot luck. First, let me get some housekeeping out of the way, and no, I'm not talking about the pile of laundry that is sitting on my bed waiting to be folded. I'd like to start by making a statement that may seem foreign to some - we are all ministers. We may not all be partaking in a monetary reward for our ministry. Nevertheless, we are all ministers. With that out of the way we can proceed.
In my time in ministry I've been part of 2 small churches and one mid-size church. To maintain the safety of this blogger I will not point fingers or identify to which of these churches I am referring when I make certain statements. That way, everyone who has/does attend church with me can tell themselves that all of the good comments refer to their church.
Now, I've never been a member of a mega-church, so I cannot speak for them. However, I can say that in all the churches I've ministered there are never enough volunteers. I've never known a pastor to turn down a legitimate offer to teach Sunday school, clean a bathroom, or watch the nursery. I'm sure most churches could use a few good men and women to usher, greet or clean up after functions. The thing I have noticed is this: even more than the need for volunteers, there seems to be a real and ever-present need for appreciation.
Appreciation: gratitude, recognition. The simple act of saying thank you for a job well done can go a long way. IMHO, it does not take fancy dinners, expensive gifts or any monetary reward to show appreciation. It is free, which is why it seems such a shame that it is in such short supply. Studies show that people will work harder for less money if they feel rewarded for their efforts in other ways. Everyone needs a little nod of recognition and an "atta boy (or girl)" once in a while.
I'll talk to the pastors first for the simple fact that their example sets the stage for the way the rest of the church responds. Pastors, I know you have your plates full - sermons, visitation, board meetings, etc, etc, ad infinitum. However, I would like to offer a few words of gentle advice: please appreciate your volunteers. This team of people who commute an hour or more each way to work, work all day long, rush home to feed their families, go to soccer practice and still make time to head up the church spaghetti dinner or car wash deserve your gratitude. If you are finding that you are short of volunteers, try acknowledging the ones you do have. Notice the faithful Sunday school teacher that has been teaching the class so long that she is now instructing the second or third generation of your church. Thank the person who drives the church bus/van to pick up all of the people who would never make it to service otherwise. Your job without them would be impossible. They require very little in return for their hard work - a simple thank you will suffice.
Now, let's serve the second course of this appreciation dinner. Volunteers, sometimes we start feeling neglected or underappreciated. We start to be grumblers and complainers, and the less appreciated we feel, the louder our grumbling becomes. My advice to you is to give what you so desire. If you are pining for a thank you, starving for a pat on the back, or craving a little recognition, then give some of the same to your leadership. It may just cause a chain reaction. You know, pastors are people too. My favorite phrase that volunteers sometimes use is: "well, that's why they pay the pastor." Let me just say this, in most cases the pastor is not getting paid enough to do whatever it is you want him to do. As a whole, our pastors are not recognized nearly enough for all they do. So many times we just think they sit in their offices working up next Sunday's sermon. We forget to consider that they have a whole host of responsibilities that we should thank God we don't have to perform. We think about all the things we have to do in a day, but sometimes we should take a moment to consider that pastors have PTA meetings, ballet recitals and oil changes too. Come on, show them a little love. I can tell you from experience that a little love for a pastor goes a long way.
Let me share just a minute about one of the most wonderful churches I've ever had the pleasure of attending. It was the first church that allowed me to take part in its ministry. It was a small church, and there was such a camaraderie there. Please do not misunderstand me. It was not perfect; if it had been, I couldn't have attended. However, the man who taught me a great deal about how to minister also taught me a great deal about how to be appreciative. I'm going to break the rule I instated earlier because I cannot fail to mention this man's name, Michael Coday. He was the youth pastor, and my husband and I were his volunteer youth workers. Mike recruited us from the local Bible college, and we drove 45 minutes each way to be a part of his wonderful ministry. Mike taught me the valuable lesson I am encouraging you to learn: no matter what you do in life, family, ministry - take a little time to appreciate the ones that are a part of it.
For good measure, I'll be the first member of this Mutual Admiration Society. To all my pastors, both past and present, thank you. Thank you so much for all your love, support, prayer and generosity of time and spirit. To all my fellow volunteers - thank you. Thank you for teaching my child in Sunday school, leading me in worship, and the myriad of other things you do.
I have been paid as a part-time minister if you can call the small stipend we received pay. I have spent the majority of my time in ministry as an unpaid volunteer. I can tell you that on whatever side of the table you sit - pastor or volunteer - you can always afford to show a little appreciation. The cost is minimal, but the return is incalculable. I hope you'll consider obtaining membership in my little club. There is only one requirement - go forth and tell someone just how much you appreciate them!
In my time in ministry I've been part of 2 small churches and one mid-size church. To maintain the safety of this blogger I will not point fingers or identify to which of these churches I am referring when I make certain statements. That way, everyone who has/does attend church with me can tell themselves that all of the good comments refer to their church.
Now, I've never been a member of a mega-church, so I cannot speak for them. However, I can say that in all the churches I've ministered there are never enough volunteers. I've never known a pastor to turn down a legitimate offer to teach Sunday school, clean a bathroom, or watch the nursery. I'm sure most churches could use a few good men and women to usher, greet or clean up after functions. The thing I have noticed is this: even more than the need for volunteers, there seems to be a real and ever-present need for appreciation.
Appreciation: gratitude, recognition. The simple act of saying thank you for a job well done can go a long way. IMHO, it does not take fancy dinners, expensive gifts or any monetary reward to show appreciation. It is free, which is why it seems such a shame that it is in such short supply. Studies show that people will work harder for less money if they feel rewarded for their efforts in other ways. Everyone needs a little nod of recognition and an "atta boy (or girl)" once in a while.
I'll talk to the pastors first for the simple fact that their example sets the stage for the way the rest of the church responds. Pastors, I know you have your plates full - sermons, visitation, board meetings, etc, etc, ad infinitum. However, I would like to offer a few words of gentle advice: please appreciate your volunteers. This team of people who commute an hour or more each way to work, work all day long, rush home to feed their families, go to soccer practice and still make time to head up the church spaghetti dinner or car wash deserve your gratitude. If you are finding that you are short of volunteers, try acknowledging the ones you do have. Notice the faithful Sunday school teacher that has been teaching the class so long that she is now instructing the second or third generation of your church. Thank the person who drives the church bus/van to pick up all of the people who would never make it to service otherwise. Your job without them would be impossible. They require very little in return for their hard work - a simple thank you will suffice.
Now, let's serve the second course of this appreciation dinner. Volunteers, sometimes we start feeling neglected or underappreciated. We start to be grumblers and complainers, and the less appreciated we feel, the louder our grumbling becomes. My advice to you is to give what you so desire. If you are pining for a thank you, starving for a pat on the back, or craving a little recognition, then give some of the same to your leadership. It may just cause a chain reaction. You know, pastors are people too. My favorite phrase that volunteers sometimes use is: "well, that's why they pay the pastor." Let me just say this, in most cases the pastor is not getting paid enough to do whatever it is you want him to do. As a whole, our pastors are not recognized nearly enough for all they do. So many times we just think they sit in their offices working up next Sunday's sermon. We forget to consider that they have a whole host of responsibilities that we should thank God we don't have to perform. We think about all the things we have to do in a day, but sometimes we should take a moment to consider that pastors have PTA meetings, ballet recitals and oil changes too. Come on, show them a little love. I can tell you from experience that a little love for a pastor goes a long way.
Let me share just a minute about one of the most wonderful churches I've ever had the pleasure of attending. It was the first church that allowed me to take part in its ministry. It was a small church, and there was such a camaraderie there. Please do not misunderstand me. It was not perfect; if it had been, I couldn't have attended. However, the man who taught me a great deal about how to minister also taught me a great deal about how to be appreciative. I'm going to break the rule I instated earlier because I cannot fail to mention this man's name, Michael Coday. He was the youth pastor, and my husband and I were his volunteer youth workers. Mike recruited us from the local Bible college, and we drove 45 minutes each way to be a part of his wonderful ministry. Mike taught me the valuable lesson I am encouraging you to learn: no matter what you do in life, family, ministry - take a little time to appreciate the ones that are a part of it.
For good measure, I'll be the first member of this Mutual Admiration Society. To all my pastors, both past and present, thank you. Thank you so much for all your love, support, prayer and generosity of time and spirit. To all my fellow volunteers - thank you. Thank you for teaching my child in Sunday school, leading me in worship, and the myriad of other things you do.
I have been paid as a part-time minister if you can call the small stipend we received pay. I have spent the majority of my time in ministry as an unpaid volunteer. I can tell you that on whatever side of the table you sit - pastor or volunteer - you can always afford to show a little appreciation. The cost is minimal, but the return is incalculable. I hope you'll consider obtaining membership in my little club. There is only one requirement - go forth and tell someone just how much you appreciate them!
I Aim To Please
I'm giving you the choice. I'm putting the power in your hands. Whether or not you vote in November is your choice, but I need your vote now.
A friend of mine recommended that I change the look of the blog for readability purposes. His suggestion was that this format (black text on white background) is easier to read than my previous format (white text on black background). You sound off and tell me what you prefer. Vote early - vote often. Let your voice be heard.
A friend of mine recommended that I change the look of the blog for readability purposes. His suggestion was that this format (black text on white background) is easier to read than my previous format (white text on black background). You sound off and tell me what you prefer. Vote early - vote often. Let your voice be heard.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Share the Love
Betcha thought this would be an in depth study on love, huh? No, I just wanted to draw your attention to a little addition to the blog. At the end of each post you will notice a little icon called "ShareThis". I just added this feature last night. I thought if you saw something you liked it would make it easier to share it (especially for those who are somewhat technology-challenged). Just click the icon, and you can bookmark my blog, post a link to a site, or e-mail it to a friend.
So, like I said, share the love!!
So, like I said, share the love!!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
I'm Coming Out
We Americans are fascinated by labels. Actually, I don't know that the word fascinated describes it accurately. It really borders on obsession sometimes. Walk down the aisle in a grocery store, and you will almost certainly pass some poor, harried mother of 2 reading the label on the SpaghettiOs to make sure it doesn't have any trans-fat in it. Of course, IMHO, if you're going with SpaghettiOs, you may as well ignore the label and finish your shopping.
We categorize and label everything - our foods, our music, our medicines, our movies and TV shows. Labels can be a wonderful tool in helping us make more informed decisions. They boil things down to their basic ingredients, tell us the important things we need to know at a glance. Labels serve a purpose for things like food and medicine, media and entertainment. So, what's my point, right?
My point is this: why do we label each other? Can a person be boiled down to a simple label? Can one word or sentence describe the personality and being of an individual? Even those fancy personality tests take your answers to a few dozen questions (or maybe a few hundred, depending on the test) and slot you into one of a few categories. They label you.
We unconsciously label ourselves and others every day. How do you describe yourself? I'm a mother, or I'm a brain surgeon. Maybe you say, I'm middle-aged, I'm a teenager, I'm single or I'm married. We box ourselves in based on our age, our occupation, our marital status or some other facet of who we are. Even in the church we label each other - the worship leader, the pastor, the Sunday school teacher. We place each other in boxes. Then we decide what everyone is capable of being or doing based on the box they fit into. I don't know about you, but I don't fit in just one box.
Well, I'm here to tell you today that I'm coming out. I'm no longer going to allow myself to be put into someone else's box. I'm even going to come out of the box of my own making. And, what's more, I'm going to let God out of the box I've made for Him - oh, come on, you know the box I'm talking about, the faith box, the one that says just how far you'll go to do His will or just how far you think He'll go for you. You've said it, I know you have - OK, God, I'll give this $20 to missions, but I'm not going myself. Or, I know God can do it, I just don't know if He'll do it for me.
Stop it. Just stop it already. God has more for you - so much more, but you refuse to see it. You've got Him locked in a box because you are comfortable where you are, or you're afraid He won't do things according to your specifications. Whatever it is that's holding you back. Whatever your box is - come out of it! Maybe you think you're too old or too young, not good enough or too good. Sometimes we just get so hung up in our own stuff - family, work, etc. Quit labeling yourself and climb out of that box. It may seem spacious enough in there, but imagine the wide open spaces you can enjoy if you'll step out of that comfort zone.
Look, I'm not saying God is going to send you to Africa or the wilds of the Amazon. I'm not even saying you'll have to give up your favorite pew at church. What I am saying is that you should be willing. Be willing to go to Africa or next door. Be willing to give up your favorite pew in favor of sitting next to the lonely widow who just lost her husband. I have heard it said before, and I find it more true every day: if your dream is big enough for you to accomplish alone, then it is not God's dream for you. Let's throw away the boxes and labels and dream a bigger dream.
Prepare to be amazed at what God will do!
We categorize and label everything - our foods, our music, our medicines, our movies and TV shows. Labels can be a wonderful tool in helping us make more informed decisions. They boil things down to their basic ingredients, tell us the important things we need to know at a glance. Labels serve a purpose for things like food and medicine, media and entertainment. So, what's my point, right?
My point is this: why do we label each other? Can a person be boiled down to a simple label? Can one word or sentence describe the personality and being of an individual? Even those fancy personality tests take your answers to a few dozen questions (or maybe a few hundred, depending on the test) and slot you into one of a few categories. They label you.
We unconsciously label ourselves and others every day. How do you describe yourself? I'm a mother, or I'm a brain surgeon. Maybe you say, I'm middle-aged, I'm a teenager, I'm single or I'm married. We box ourselves in based on our age, our occupation, our marital status or some other facet of who we are. Even in the church we label each other - the worship leader, the pastor, the Sunday school teacher. We place each other in boxes. Then we decide what everyone is capable of being or doing based on the box they fit into. I don't know about you, but I don't fit in just one box.
Well, I'm here to tell you today that I'm coming out. I'm no longer going to allow myself to be put into someone else's box. I'm even going to come out of the box of my own making. And, what's more, I'm going to let God out of the box I've made for Him - oh, come on, you know the box I'm talking about, the faith box, the one that says just how far you'll go to do His will or just how far you think He'll go for you. You've said it, I know you have - OK, God, I'll give this $20 to missions, but I'm not going myself. Or, I know God can do it, I just don't know if He'll do it for me.
Stop it. Just stop it already. God has more for you - so much more, but you refuse to see it. You've got Him locked in a box because you are comfortable where you are, or you're afraid He won't do things according to your specifications. Whatever it is that's holding you back. Whatever your box is - come out of it! Maybe you think you're too old or too young, not good enough or too good. Sometimes we just get so hung up in our own stuff - family, work, etc. Quit labeling yourself and climb out of that box. It may seem spacious enough in there, but imagine the wide open spaces you can enjoy if you'll step out of that comfort zone.
Look, I'm not saying God is going to send you to Africa or the wilds of the Amazon. I'm not even saying you'll have to give up your favorite pew at church. What I am saying is that you should be willing. Be willing to go to Africa or next door. Be willing to give up your favorite pew in favor of sitting next to the lonely widow who just lost her husband. I have heard it said before, and I find it more true every day: if your dream is big enough for you to accomplish alone, then it is not God's dream for you. Let's throw away the boxes and labels and dream a bigger dream.
Prepare to be amazed at what God will do!
Monday, May 19, 2008
Shout Out!
OK, I thought I would give a shout out to the man who inspired me to do this blog, my husband. You should check his writing out here. If you like my stuff, you'll love his!
Later.
Later.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
The Forgiveness Challenge
Let's face it - forgiveness is a challenge. No matter who you are or where you come from it is more than difficult to forgive someone when they have blatantly wronged you in some way. Most of us have certain triggers - we can forgive some things more easily than others. Some of us get angry, and stay angry, when we get cut off in traffic. Maybe it just eats you up when someone slips their overflowing grocery cart in front of you at the store (and of course you are already running late because of the guy that cut you off in traffic earlier).
I won't even begin to address the anger factor right now (we'll revisit that later). For now, I want to talk about the forgiveness challenge. Why is it so hard to forgive? What makes us hold on to that anger, the resentment, and the bitterness? We usually claim that we have a right to be angry and unforgiving. There's just one little problem with that logic. We can either hold on to our right to anger and forfeit the many good things God has for us, or we can relinquish our rights and embrace the grace that provided our forgiveness from sin.
Now, I bet I can guess what you are thinking - who gave you permission to lecture me on forgiveness? You have no idea what so-and-so did to me. You would be beyond correct. I have no way of knowing who wronged you, what the wrong was, and how many times that wrong has been revisited upon you. Instead, I'll tell you about my encounter with the forgiveness challenge.
When I was 10 years old, my mother disappeared. She left for a weekend getaway and never came home. Now, I won't go into all the particulars, but suffice it to say that her remains were discovered in a rice field nearly a year later. The autopsy showed that she had been stabbed repeatedly. Now, I was faced with a forgiveness challenge that I did not readily accept. I was angry at the person who stole my mother's life. I was infuriated that this person somehow decided that my mother's life was worth less than his and took it upon himself to kill her. I cannot even put into words the seething animosity, the hatred, the bitterness I harbored. I can imagine that many of you agree with my anger and would argue that I had every right to all of those feelings.
I'll tell you how God saw my refusal to forgive. He saw it as rebellion. How could I who had been forgiven by the blood of Christ refuse to forgive someone else? We humans love to quantify our sin. We only tell little white lies. We only cheat on our taxes a little bit. My sin isn't as bad as his sin. I'm a straight shooter, so I'm going to tell it the way it is: sin is sin. The end, period, exclamation point. God does not weigh sin. The Bible tells us in Matthew 5 that a man who holds hatred in his heart is subject to the same judgment as the man who commits murder. In I John 3 we are told that anyone who hates his brother is a murderer. That tells me that my sin in God's eyes is the same as the sin of that man who took my mother's life.
I'm not going to lie to you. It was not easy to forgive, and I haven't mastered the art of it yet. I thought I was going to confront God about why He allowed my mother to die. Instead He confronted me about why I hadn't forgiven the man who took her life. He showed me the depth of my sinful nature, He reminded me about who I would be had he not forgiven me, and He challenged me to forgive. It broke me, but I have never been so free as the moment that I prayed for that man's salvation. At that moment, I gained the realization that without salvation this man's sin had stolen far more from him than he could ever take from me. I can write this now and honestly say that I hope with all my heart that he finds Christ before his judgment day. I hope someone can reach out to him and share the love of God. I pray that if it is possible, I could be that person. Why? Because I know the power of forgiveness.
We rely so much on the forgiveness of others when we have wronged them. Let us simply follow the golden rule and "do unto others as we would have them do unto us." It frees them. It frees us. If you think that there is someone in your life that has sinned against you one too many times, remember this. In Matthew 18 Peter asks Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother who has sinned against him - seven times? Jesus replies - not just seven times but seventy times seven. The point is that you can't keep track of that many wrongs, and you shouldn't even try. You should forgive as you have been forgiven.
I would live in terror if I thought that the Lord was keeping a tally sheet of all my past sins, and when I hit that magic number, He cuts off the fountain of grace and mercy. If you let go of your right to hate and be angry, you will discover a new level of peace and joy.
Live in freedom, Live in forgiveness.
I won't even begin to address the anger factor right now (we'll revisit that later). For now, I want to talk about the forgiveness challenge. Why is it so hard to forgive? What makes us hold on to that anger, the resentment, and the bitterness? We usually claim that we have a right to be angry and unforgiving. There's just one little problem with that logic. We can either hold on to our right to anger and forfeit the many good things God has for us, or we can relinquish our rights and embrace the grace that provided our forgiveness from sin.
Now, I bet I can guess what you are thinking - who gave you permission to lecture me on forgiveness? You have no idea what so-and-so did to me. You would be beyond correct. I have no way of knowing who wronged you, what the wrong was, and how many times that wrong has been revisited upon you. Instead, I'll tell you about my encounter with the forgiveness challenge.
When I was 10 years old, my mother disappeared. She left for a weekend getaway and never came home. Now, I won't go into all the particulars, but suffice it to say that her remains were discovered in a rice field nearly a year later. The autopsy showed that she had been stabbed repeatedly. Now, I was faced with a forgiveness challenge that I did not readily accept. I was angry at the person who stole my mother's life. I was infuriated that this person somehow decided that my mother's life was worth less than his and took it upon himself to kill her. I cannot even put into words the seething animosity, the hatred, the bitterness I harbored. I can imagine that many of you agree with my anger and would argue that I had every right to all of those feelings.
I'll tell you how God saw my refusal to forgive. He saw it as rebellion. How could I who had been forgiven by the blood of Christ refuse to forgive someone else? We humans love to quantify our sin. We only tell little white lies. We only cheat on our taxes a little bit. My sin isn't as bad as his sin. I'm a straight shooter, so I'm going to tell it the way it is: sin is sin. The end, period, exclamation point. God does not weigh sin. The Bible tells us in Matthew 5 that a man who holds hatred in his heart is subject to the same judgment as the man who commits murder. In I John 3 we are told that anyone who hates his brother is a murderer. That tells me that my sin in God's eyes is the same as the sin of that man who took my mother's life.
I'm not going to lie to you. It was not easy to forgive, and I haven't mastered the art of it yet. I thought I was going to confront God about why He allowed my mother to die. Instead He confronted me about why I hadn't forgiven the man who took her life. He showed me the depth of my sinful nature, He reminded me about who I would be had he not forgiven me, and He challenged me to forgive. It broke me, but I have never been so free as the moment that I prayed for that man's salvation. At that moment, I gained the realization that without salvation this man's sin had stolen far more from him than he could ever take from me. I can write this now and honestly say that I hope with all my heart that he finds Christ before his judgment day. I hope someone can reach out to him and share the love of God. I pray that if it is possible, I could be that person. Why? Because I know the power of forgiveness.
We rely so much on the forgiveness of others when we have wronged them. Let us simply follow the golden rule and "do unto others as we would have them do unto us." It frees them. It frees us. If you think that there is someone in your life that has sinned against you one too many times, remember this. In Matthew 18 Peter asks Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother who has sinned against him - seven times? Jesus replies - not just seven times but seventy times seven. The point is that you can't keep track of that many wrongs, and you shouldn't even try. You should forgive as you have been forgiven.
I would live in terror if I thought that the Lord was keeping a tally sheet of all my past sins, and when I hit that magic number, He cuts off the fountain of grace and mercy. If you let go of your right to hate and be angry, you will discover a new level of peace and joy.
Live in freedom, Live in forgiveness.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Introducing . . . Me
Okay, I am making my first foray into the wonderful world of blogging. What do I have to say that someone else hasn't already said, you may ask. My response to that inquiry would simply be - you'll have to tune in to find out. And I hope you will come back soon and often.
I am a stay-at-home mom, which, IMHO, is the best career I could possibly choose. I have a beautiful and intelligent almost 2 1/2 year old little girl. Raising her to be a strong woman of God is my mission in life.
In addition to being a wife and mother, I am a passionate worshiper. I have been and hope to be in the future a worship leader. I am a sometimes preacher, which is both humbling and incredibly exciting.
So, however you may have found me, welcome to my blog. My hope is that I can make you laugh, give you some insight, or just encourage you. If I accomplish this for one person, then I will consider it a job well done.
Blessings!
I am a stay-at-home mom, which, IMHO, is the best career I could possibly choose. I have a beautiful and intelligent almost 2 1/2 year old little girl. Raising her to be a strong woman of God is my mission in life.
In addition to being a wife and mother, I am a passionate worshiper. I have been and hope to be in the future a worship leader. I am a sometimes preacher, which is both humbling and incredibly exciting.
So, however you may have found me, welcome to my blog. My hope is that I can make you laugh, give you some insight, or just encourage you. If I accomplish this for one person, then I will consider it a job well done.
Blessings!
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