So Right, You're Wrong

Have you ever been so sure about something that you would have bet on it at the track? It was just one of those things where all you had to do was cross the T's and dot the I's. The details were mere formalities, and you were just going to sail on into the next chapter of life. Then it all came undone. That's what happened to me.

Well, I should mention that I've been struggling a little with some doubts recently. I suppose that should have been my first clue. However, I chalked them up to nervousness about a new adventure and kept on plugging away. Then we went to St. Bernard Parish last week.

We no more got into town and met the pastor, who is a terrific person, by the way, and I knew it just wasn't right. He and his family had us to dinner. He showed us around the area, which was amazing. The most touching thing we saw was the memorial to those who died in St. Bernard Parish during Katrina.

This is a photo of that memorial. The building in the distance is an old fort that was being built prior to the Battle of New Orleans. It was never finished. It was a beautiful intersection of the area's struggles from the past and trials of the present.

Even in the midst of feeling incredible empathy for the residents of that area and all they are going through to rebuild (and there is still much to be done), I also knew that our intended move was not to be. In some ways I was a little relieved, but in others, I was sorely disappointed.

As we left to come home, Dan and I were confused, frustrated, disappointed. The adjectives could go on and on. It is hard to know that first you will have to try to explain to friends and loved ones what changed in the course of 24 hours. Did God change His mind, did we miss Him, what happened?

I learned a valuable lesson from all this though. If nothing else, I am learning to walk in humility. My pride would have said that you follow through rather than lose face and admit defeat. My determined nature would have had me move because we had something to offer even if it wasn't right. However, I think that being able to admit when you are wrong is more important than always being right. That, for the simple reason that no one is always right.

So, we are continuing to pray about what God has for us. In the spirit of honesty, I am still baffled by all of this. I struggle because I feel in some ways that I am running fast and getting nowhere. I expect though that when Papa's will is made plain that all of this will be just another step in the journey taking us there.

And so I lean again on one of my favorite sections of scripture, Proverbs 3:5-6. I will trust, and I will try to look beyond my understanding to take hold of His will for me and my family.