Transparency Trials

Did you think I had gone AWOL? I have been unable to blog the past few days as my computer time has been limited. My husband has been holding our PC hostage, and I thought I was going to have to take it by force. Fortunately, he surrendered peacefully so there was no bloodshed. It really is a bit sad how lost I have been without my web time. I felt as if I had lost a limb. It's not so much that I surf the web, but I do read a lot, and sitting here typing and reading is cathartic. It is my "me time." Alright, now let's get down to business and spend a few minutes talking about transparency.

Lately, Papa has been asking something of me that is particularly difficult. He has been prodding me to be transparent. The difficulty lies not in the fact that I have something to hide but in the fact that transparency makes me vulnerable. If I allow myself to be seen as who and what I really am, everyone will have the ability to judge, if they so choose, the real me.

I like to think that I am not the only one to struggle with this request. I tend to want people to think the best of me, so I try to put my best foot forward. It doesn't always work, but for the most part, I feel I am well thought of. The words that have been knocking me around lately are "be transparent."

I've always thought that being transparent would just let everyone see everything (positive and negative). However, I took some time today to check the dictionary for a definition of transparent. I hope you'll be as pleasantly surprised as I was by my discovery.

Transparent: Capable of transmitting light so that objects or images can be seen as if there were no intervening material. Wait for it, wait for it. Yes, that was the sound of your mind being blown. Papa has been asking me to be transparent not so everyone can see my junk but so they can see Him.

I know. I was amazed and stupefied as well. All this time I've struggled with how I can be obedient while not showing all my insecurities, etc. Then He shows me that if I will be transparent, people will only see Him through me.

It's kind of like looking through a window. If the window is clouded or dirty, the light does not get through, or at least, it doesn't come through as strongly and clearly. But, if the window is completely transparent, the light we see is brilliant. I don't know about you, but I so don't want to be a dirty window! Matthew 5:14-16 says this:

¹⁴You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. ¹⁶In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

So, I'm going to get the Windex out and clean this window. I want to let His light, His radiance, His brilliance shine through me as I endeavor to be transparent.