10 Signs That You Are A Pharisee

As promised, we are continuing our look at the pharisees. If you read my previous post and came back for more, you must be serious about a relationship with Father. That's perfect because confronting our pharasaic tendencies takes sincerity, as well as humility.

I've always believed in the axiom given us by Mary Poppins: "a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, medicine go down, medicine go down" - sorry I got a little caught up there. So, we'll use a little humor to help this "medicine" go down as we look at 10 ways to know if you are a pharisee:

You know you're a pharisee if. . . (to be read with Jeff Foxworthy's accent)

1. You ask a friend over to help you move some furniture, and you sit on the porch drinking a lemonade while they do all the work. (Matt 23:4)

They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger.

2. You rent out a billboard on the highway to make sure everybody hears that you left a $1 tip for the server at Billy Bob's Ribs 'N More after dinner on Sunday (and it wasn't in pennies). (Matt 23:5)

They do all their deeds to be seen by others.

3. You use your pocket knife to carve your name into the pew at church, and you'll knock out the three teeth Jimmy has left if he sits in it. (Matt 23:6)

And they love the place of honor at feasts and the best seats in the synagogues

4. You invite people over, put up "Do Not Enter" signs, and then stand at the front gate with your shotgun to make sure no one gets in, includin' you! (Matt 23:13)

But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut the kingdom of heaven in people's faces. For you neither enter yourselves nor allow those who would enter to go in.

5. You offer to teach someone how to work on their car and then make them twice as bad a mechanic as you are (maybe the 3 cars up on blocks in your front yard should have been a clue!). (Matt 23:15)

Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel across sea and land to make a single proselyte, and when he becomes a proselyte, you make him twice as much a child of hell as yourselves.

6. You go to the White House to meet with the President, and you get so distracted by the big screen TV that you don't even hear him offer to buy you a brand new double-wide trailer. (Matt 23:16-22)

¹⁶Woe to you, blind guides, who say, "If anyone swears by the temple, it is nothing, but if anyone swears by the gold of the temple, he is bound by his oath." ¹⁷You blind fools! For which is greater, the gold or the temple that has made the gold sacred? ¹⁸And you say, "If anyone swears by the altar, it is nothing, but if anyone swears by the gift that is on the altar, he is bound by his oath." ¹⁹You blind men! For which is greater, the gift or the altar that makes the gift sacred? ²⁰So whoever swears by the altar swears by it and by everything on it. ²¹And whoever swears by the temple swears by it and by him who dwells in it. ²²And whoever swears by heaven swears by the throne of God and by him who sits upon it.

7. You are always careful to use your blinker when you change lanes on the highway, but the fact that you're goin' 120 mph and all your tail lights are busted out escapes your notice. (Matt 23:23-24)

²³Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others. ²⁴You blind guides, straining out a gnat and swallowing a camel!

8. You spend 2 hours washing and waxing your 1983 El Camino, but you forget to clean the two week old fried chicken out from under the front seat. (Matt 23:25-28)

²⁵Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. ²⁶You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean.

²⁷ Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people's bones and all uncleanness. ²⁸So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.

9. You figure you're doin' alright 'cause you've only got one busted refrigerator sittin' on your front porch and you finally got satellite TV - not like the poor sap down the street that has two rusted out Frigidaires and a Kenmore and still watches TV with rabbit ears. (Luke 18:10-14)

¹⁰Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. ¹¹The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. ¹²I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.' ¹³But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, 'God, be merciful to me, a sinner!' ¹⁴I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.

10. You tell your wife whatever she wants to hear just to get her to pipe down while you watch the Dallas Cowboys playing the Washington Redskins. (Mark 7:6-8)

⁶And he said to them, "Well did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is written,

"'This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me; ⁷in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.'

⁸You leave the commandment of God and hold to the tradition of men."

Seriously though, nobody could get Jesus going like the Pharisees. He ranted and raved at them trying to show them how foolish and arrogant they were.

It all boils down to this: the Pharisees wanted to see themselves as righteous without ever confronting their issues. Their goal was to be superior and with that superiority to gain power and influence. They wanted a shortcut to holiness. Well, I'll let you in on a secret - there are no shortcuts.

I think Jesus summed up the Pharisees' issues pretty concisely when He said, "This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me." Wow, that is . . .wow. How can you walk away from that one? Just sit a minute and think on that. Could that be said of you?

Do you say all the "right" things and do all the "right" things but still feel empty? Are you a dirty cup or a pretty tomb? Too often we become obsessed with being "perfect." Father is not looking for you to be perfect. If He was looking for perfection, He would have vaporized every one of us and started over a long time ago. He wants relationship!!

I know that I am beating a dead horse at this point, and I risk alienating those of you who are tired of hearing it. But Papa will not allow me to stop talking about this yet. His very heart beats for us. Why else would he have sent his only Son to die for us? I mean, He said it right there in scripture - they give me lip-service, but not their hearts. Isn't that what Jesus is saying in Mark 7:6-8?

Jesus summarizes it for us in Matthew 22:37-40:

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets."

Relationship: relationship with Papa and relationship with each other. So simple, so full of life and love - that is what our life with Him should be.

I'm tired, and I'm sure you are too, at this point. I hope that in some way you have been inspired to Fathom Deep. Go deeper with Father - as deep as you can go. And when you think you are as close to Him as you can possibly get, draw closer!